Darcy Rose Byrnes
Actrice

Américaine

Lyrics:

And now, the end is near
And so I go to leave this safety
My friend, I have no fear
and yes I know, that I’ve gone crazy
I've lived a quarentine that's full
And only twice… a day have I cried
And more, much more than this, I did stay inside


Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I tried to cook a stew
That might have blew up my kitchen
I practiced how to paint
it did not go well, but at least I tried
And more, much more than this, I did stay inside

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
where I didn’t wear pants for a zoom
But through it all, I did still care
I sometimes did still wash my hair
Though it was hellish, I stood tall…ish and I stayed inside

I've binged, I've slept and ate
I’m no longer good at doing chit chat
But I, was never great
most convos end with sociolinguistic fun facts
but I was never bored
Instagram and Disney Plus kept me occupied
Not a lie, I did abide and I stayed inside

For what is a woman, what has she got?
to be alone for all, what has it taught
Though it was rough, I was duty bound
I never complained, well not outloud
I made banana bread
then got take out instead
And I stayed inside

Yes, I stayed inside

Lyrics:
Going to start my day
When there’s a knock
What can I say
My heart completely stops
There you are, sorry and gaunt
On one knee with flowers
Saying you want me back
And how do I say with tact
That all I really want is to shower

I know I should swoon
When you shower me with praise
But it’s half past noon
And that’s not the sort of shower I crave
Standing by the kitchen sink
as you tell me you were a coward
And I know we’re on the brink
So my heart begins to sink
Cuz I don’t really think
I’m gonna get to shower

Love waits for no one
But brings with it happiness
So maybe it is worth it to give up cleanliness
How can I tell the one I love
to walk away
And can the one I love
smell and tell
that I haven’t showered in three days

If we’re to be one
There’s nothing we can hide
We can’t judge or shun facts like
I like going out as long as it’s not outside
Share our proclivities and “Cups of Tea”s
Don’t tease it baby, show every letter
If we do I believe
That it’ll leave us
The power to be better
So do you want to shower together

What do you do with a sketchy roommate
What do you do with a sketchy roommate
What do you do with a sketchy roommate
That you found on Craigslist

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
He calls his mom mother

Steal the socks that he never takes off
Steal the socks that he never takes off
Steal the socks that he never takes off
And send them to his mother

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
He calls his mom mother

Take a picture when he doesn’t flush it
Take a picture when he doesn’t flush it
Take a picture when he doesn’t flush it
And send it to his mother

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
He calls his mom mother

Take away the mannequin head he talks to
Take away the mannequin head he talks to
Take away the mannequin head he talks to
And send it to his mother

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
He calls his mom mother

Delete the tapes that he takes of you sleeping
Delete the tapes that he takes of you sleeping
Delete the tapes that he takes of you sleeping
Send them to his mother

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
He calls his mom mother

Do a google search on the name he gave you
Do a google search on the name he gave you
Do a google search on the name he gave you
Try to find his mother

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
He calls his mom mother

That's what you do with a sketchy roommate
That's what you do with a sketchy roommate
That's what you do with a sketchy roommate
That you found on Craigslist

Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
Way hay this was a mistake
I think he killed his mother.

It’s fine...I live here now.

Lyrics:
I only want to say
If there is a way
Take this mask away from me
For I don't want to taste my own breath
Smell my breakfast,
I had lox (I have changed)
I'm not as sure as when this started

Then I was inspired
Now my jokes are tired
Listen, surely I've exceeded expectations?
Tried for 5 months, seems like 5 months
Could you ask as much from any other comedian?

“too many syllables”
“We’ll fix it in post”


(If) I stay inside
See the saga through
And write the things you ask of me
Let them like me, share me, tweet me
Pin me to their feed
I'd want to get
I'd want to get more likes
I'd want to get
I'd want to get more likes
I'd want to see
I'd want to see more shares
I'd want to see
I'd want to see more shares
(If) I stay inside
Would I be more noticed
Than I ever was before?
Do the bits and shtick I write
Matter any more?
You have to go
you have to go and vote
“no politics!”
I have to post
I have to post, my god!
“no religion”
I'd have to get
I'd have to get follows
I'd have to get
I'd have to get follows

If I post what will be my reward?
I’ve cut this song please do not fast forward
I'd have to get
I'd have to get follows
I'd have to get
I'd have to get follows

If I stay inside
I can’t really tell
If my new lines have stayed on beat
“mostly”
Show me you can comment
something more than ‘show your feet’
‘Say make banana bread’
But you do not tell me how
ask if ‘I have hairy legs’ and
ask me to say ‘meow’
I’ll stay inside
watch me inside!
cash me inside
cash me inside